Midterm Week

I’m exhausted. I had the most draggy exams today. Well a couple of them at least but I believe that’s not the end of it. There’s still Accounting waiting around the bend. Though I’m glad to say that I survived as I hoped I would, I’d like to think that I’d be able to pull through the next few weeks. I can’t give up just yet because the worst is yet to come. Or wait, I think it’d be better if I don’t think that way. Let’s give being an optimist a try and see where this leads me.

Anyway, I’m putting that all behind me now. There’s more to look forward to for the next couple of days. Midterm week is not yet over, in fact it has only just begun. And there’s more work on the side. I need to get my submissions done before their due dates or else I won’t get the bonus points. I’m banking on this because it will be the only thing that will save me come finals.

I honestly don’t know how I’m surviving school right now. It’s not like I’m a regular student. Oh no, I’m definitely not. I also work to fifteen hours a week that will pay off when they deduct 25k from my tuition fee. I’m struggling to juggle my time. But I still get the perks of being a regular student which is evident in the number of cuts I’ve used for a couple of my classes. I think I’ve used up half of it already, which is not a a good sign. It means that I have to stop slacking off and get on my feet. But oh well, we all need a break.

Speaking of which, I changed my wallpaper today. It’s a photo I took in 2008 in my home town during Holiday Break. My cousin came home from the States for vacation and we brought him to the beach.

Anyway, going back, believe me you guys have no idea how much I want to go on vacation. I’d do anything to get a full weekend getaway. It’s not easy to snag one when you only have one day for a weekend. Wow, come to think of it, I think I spend more hours working than regular employees do. Six times a week and even my one-day-weekend is spent doing homework.

Can’t it be summer already? I want to get out of school so bad. Like right now.

I need to feel the sand in my toes, the wind blowing in my face and the smell of the ocean filling in my senses.

Moving Away Diaries (Day 1)

I owe this blog a lot. To be honest, I haven’t been in the mood to write about anything. This must be the sole reason why I couldn’t bring myself to finish my Internship report that should have been ready for submission a month back. Well, this is me. I’m the person who is fond of cramming and procrastinating. My mom kept nagging me for weeks now to finish my report and pack up the things I’d be bringing back to Manila. Yes folks, this is it. After spending the last six months back home in the province, I’m now bound to go back to school for second term. I can’t explain how I exactly feel. All I know is that it’s a big whirl of emotions that either makes me hyper active or nauseous. 

The thing about home is that once you settle in for quite a time, you tend to become attached to it. It’s harder to leave home now especially knowing that my parents will be left alone in the house. It will feel empty and though they’re not telling me directly how sad they are about the fact that I’m leaving again, I know deep down how they truly feel. The sad part is, my schedule won’t permit me to come home on weekends because I have Saturday classes. If there’s such thing as being homesick while at home, then this most probably be it. I haven’t left but I am already missing everyone and everything. I think I already know why it’s hard to leave. My family has been through a lot over the past six months and I guess I’m just scared that those things might happen again and I wouldn’t be around for my parents. I wouldn’t be there to comfort them and try to give them hope. But I am realizing that sometimes we have to let go. This is the only way to grow up, when you let go and face reality. A year from now, I’ll be taking a bigger step in my life. Hopefully, I’ll get to have my internship in the States for another six months. I know I’ll survive. I have to.  

01 Homesick (Kings of Convenience)

September, October Extended

There’s nothing much worth writing about here for the month of September because all we had were sad stuff that left a lot of people devastated. There were some nice stuff too but it gets lost somewhere beneath the incidents and bad news and all that. So let me just give you a backlog and make our lives easier. FYI, I’ll be mixing in some personal stuff, so please don’t be surprised if this post turns out to be a little longer than you expected.

•  I finished my internship. Thank God it’s over. Now all I have to do is work on my internship report which by the way hasn’t been going well at all. I’ve been procrastinating most of the time and I think I’ve lost three weeks worth of precious time that should’ve been used for the completion of my report but then it all flew past me without even noticing it. So now, I’m gonna have to kick myself in the head and drive myself to get serious. Like for real because I don’t have much time left before the beginning of a new semester! :S
• Ondoy and Pepeng happened. I don’t understand how most of us shrug off the idea that maybe we’ll lose this planet we’re living in if we don’t take action and care for it. Because obviously, the typhoons get stronger every year and not only that– we experience nature disasters in different locations all over the world that leave millions if not billions of people dead and infrastructures badly damaged. That’s every year but the thing is, we don’t give a damn about it if we know we’re not directly affected. 
• Amidst all the disaster, I’m proud of all Filipinos and those people from different countries who extended their help to the victims of flood. People from various sectors united to collect donations that are now being sent to the affected areas. I am proud to say that I am a Filipino and that I was also able to help in my own little way (via Enderun Community Drive and Philippine Red Cross). But that does not excuse the government and how futile they were the whole time the typhoon hit the country. WHERE ARE YOUR RUBBER BOATS MADAME PRESIDENT?! Oh yeah right, you used up the funds for your lavish trips abroad. You are unbelievable. The worst president I’ve ever known!
• My brother had an operation and they took out his gallbladder because of gallstones. I have to start living a healthy life with a new healthy diet because I don’t want to end up like him. I don’t want anyone taking out any part of my body all because I haven’t been living right. Scaryyy.  
• Good news is that we’ve fixed my new living arrangement for second semester. I can’t wait to move back in! It almost seems like I’ve been on a super long vacation since May and now I just want to go back to school. As nerdy as it sounds, I honestly miss doing homework and studying for quizzes and exams.

There are a few things that I have in mind but I don’t want to write about it because it only makes me sad.. But things will be looking up soon. I can feel it. I know I’ll get by.

BTW, I went on hiatus on my Facebook and messengers and I thought it’d give me time to gather my thoughts and write more often. I hope it works! So much for the backlogging. I’ll be giving you fresher updates after this entry. I promise to be more active and post more photos. How about a semi photo blog? Sounds like a good idea right? I think so too! 

To end this post, let me share with you this photo I found on the net by Mark Gosingtian.

(Click the photo to view in full scale)

 07 Blankest Year

Hello August

Going through this whole month felt like walking on a bridge of burning charcoal. You know you can’t get through until you cross over. You have to endure the pain to get to the other side.

There was only one reason why I experienced this kind of torture. It began some time in July, I found out that my parents were experiencing conflicts with their marriage. It wasn’t a problem that could easily be solved by discussion and compromise. More so, I was helpless because no matter how much I wanted to fix it, only they can find the solution to resolve the problem.

They tried but it seemed like it was too difficult to the point where they decided that they should just separate. It felt like my whole world crumbled to bits and pieces. I thought it was beyond repair. I was heart broken.

I knew I needed an escape. I had to keep my sanity and the only way to save myself was to leave the house. The organization in my school, which I am an active member of planned an overnight camp in Batangas at the end of the month. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get away for a few days. I packed my bags and left. It felt good.

The trip was probably the band-aid to my wounds. It was great seeing my friends again and catching up on things. But I knew that it wouldn’t last long. I knew I had to face reality later on. 

 Make You Feel My Love (Adele)

Makati Mania

I miss Manila. I wish I was back already. The Big City feels more like my home.

 I miss everything about it. Both the Day and Night life.