Moving Away Diaries (Day 1)

November 4, 2009

I owe this blog a lot. To be honest, I haven’t been in the mood to write about anything. This must be the sole reason why I couldn’t bring myself to finish my Internship report that should have been ready for submission a month back. Well, this is me. I’m the person who is fond of cramming and procrastinating. My mom kept nagging me for weeks now to finish my report and pack up the things I’d be bringing back to Manila. Yes folks, this is it. After spending the last six months back home in the province, I’m now bound to go back to school for second term. I can’t explain how I exactly feel. All I know is that it’s a big whirl of emotions that either makes me hyper active or nauseous. 

The thing about home is that once you settle in for quite a time, you tend to become attached to it. It’s harder to leave home now especially knowing that my parents will be left alone in the house. It will feel empty and though they’re not telling me directly how sad they are about the fact that I’m leaving again, I know deep down how they truly feel. The sad part is, my schedule won’t permit me to come home on weekends because I have Saturday classes. If there’s such thing as being homesick while at home, then this most probably be it. I haven’t left but I am already missing everyone and everything. I think I already know why it’s hard to leave. My family has been through a lot over the past six months and I guess I’m just scared that those things might happen again and I wouldn’t be around for my parents. I wouldn’t be there to comfort them and try to give them hope. But I am realizing that sometimes we have to let go. This is the only way to grow up, when you let go and face reality. A year from now, I’ll be taking a bigger step in my life. Hopefully, I’ll get to have my internship in the States for another six months. I know I’ll survive. I have to.  

01 Homesick (Kings of Convenience)